Our family is fortunate enough to have two wonderful kids. The first child is a boy Jake who was a toddler (19 months) when we brought home our second child – Sasha. Jake was not quite old enough to really understand what was going on and that a new baby was on her way. We were very worried that the toddler Jake would not react well to having someone else take attention away from him.
We imagined temper tantrums and fits when one of us was holding or feeding Sasha, but to our surprise Jake reacted very well to the new family member. Here are a few tips that we used that seemed to help Jake deal with having a new baby around the house.
• When we brought Sasha home, Jake was at daycare. When he came in from school, we introduced him to the baby and gave him a present that we said was from his baby sister.
• We supported Jake seeing, touching, and being around the new baby. We did not try to keep him away or act like we were scared he would hurt her accidentally.
• We got Jake involved with changing diapers, throwing wipes away, and observing feedings.
• While one parent was feeding the baby, the other was available to the toddler to play and pay attention to him.
• After Sasha finished eating and fell back asleep, we did not hold her for an excessive amount of time, but put her back in her bed and concentrated on Jake.
What we came to realize out of this experience is that continuing to focus on the toddler and getting them involved lets them know that there is nothing to be jealous about and minimizes the issues with bringing home a new baby. While it is easy to shift focus to the baby, the toddler is the one who is losing something (attention). The toddler is the child who is more affected by the new addition to the house, not the baby. The baby will be cared for no matter what, but does not go through the emotional adjustment of having something take away the attention that she is used to.
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